I wrote this first part in December 2005 and it still holds true. As the holidays get closer I want to write an update. So here goes.

December 2005: Looking at the world through new eyes.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. After what was scheduled to be an out-patient procedure I'm home after thirteen days in the hospital. I'm beat up and sore, but oh so happy to be home with my cats and my stuff all around me. The pathology reports came back negative. At this point it appears that they got all the cancer. Yea!

Life changing event? You have no idea. I have heard and read all the cliches and trite sayings that come with being told you have cancer. I agreed with everyone, yeah that's bad news man. But until the doctor looked me in the eye and said, “you have malignant melanoma,” I had no idea what it really means. When the doctor said those four words I was scared. I mean for the first time in my life really scared. Mortality was staring me in the face. We all ponder death in our thoughts and dreams as we go through life, but all of a sudden I knew my end, no more speculation. And it terrified me. Thank God it was only a scare this time.

Then later that night as it started to sink in what truly started to scare me was how I tell my family and friends. It took me two days before I told any one. The first person I told was my boss. I had too. I was starting to miss work because of the doctor appointments. I laid awake another night before I got the courage to tell my brother and my best friend Jim, who in many ways is as close to me as my brother. I knew what I had to say was going to hurt them, and I didn't want too. I would have preferred to tell everyone in person, but all of my family lives out-of-state. The dreadful silence after I said those words was like a knife in my heart. But Jim was another story. I had to tell him face to face, not on the phone. I will never forget the shock in his eyes.

Now four weeks later I've come to appreciate and love my family and friends even more than ever before. I realize what family and friends are really for. To help you through the hard times, not just the good times. The support and care I've received from everyone has been unbelievable. I couldn't have made it through this without them. I'm not worthy, but incredibly lucky to have them all. I watched “It's a Wonderful Life,” while I was in the hospital and have to agree with the final scene of the movie. “No man is poor if he has friends,” and tonight I feel like a millionaire.

December 2007: The saga continues...

For these past two years I have continued to battle the little bastards. 2006 found a reoccurrence in my right leg which led to Chemotherapy in October, November and December. 2007 has been the toughest yet with major surgery in January, minor surgery in May, major surgery again in November along with radiation and another minor one in December. But I am still alive and kickin! I am going to beat them little bastards! People tell me all the time how brave I am. I'm not brave, I'm scared. I really haven't made any hard choices yet. I just do what the Doctors tell me. I have been through just about everything they can do to me and I have discovered that I am tougher than the little bastards. I will not give up. Ever!

So as we come to the end of the year, to quote Lou Gehrig, “Today I feel like the luckiest man in the world.” And I do! I could not have made it without the support and love of the incredible, wonderful group of friends and family I am privileged to have. And it is my privilege! These people are the greatest. I love them all dearly. I still dread it when I have to tell them that I have another set back because I know that it hurts, worries and scares them.

About three years ago, before the cancer, I told my friend Jim (Desertmann2000) that I was in the best place in my life. Good job with security, a house of my own for the first time in my life, many great friends going all the way back to grade school and the greatest family in the world. I still feel like that today. I would not change a thing if it meant losing even one of these amazing people. The cancer has been rough but I have learned so much about life. Believe me, there is still a lot of good in this world.

So here is my Holiday request to whomever is in control; Please look in on my friends and family and take care of them. They have earned it many times over. Send me the bill, I'm good for it.

Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

Cat's Diary

Day 483 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another house plant.Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed. I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan... There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

Last night I was having a couple of beers with my buddy Jim (Desertmann2000). As usual we got to talking about what we have been reading lately (we're both BIG Sci Fi fans) and it turns out we have both been (re)reading Robert Heinlein. I remembered that he had taken a quiz about Heinlein books some time ago so he asked me to take it and see which book I belong in. By answering the questions truthfully I end up in my favorite Heinlein book, "Time Enough for Love." Knowing my analytical tendencies I would have expected to be in "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" or possibly "Job- A Comedy of Justice." I'm not sure I believe all that hooey about "Your wit and wisdom are prized by others. People throw themselves on you, begging to be with you" though. I'm not even sure that the other characters in the book feel this way about Lazarus, but I have always understood, respected and loved Lazarus Long.

You scored as Mathematics. You should be a Math major! Like Pythagoras, you are analytical, rational, and when are always ready to tackle the problem head-on! </td> Mathematics 100% Philosophy 100% Engineering 100% Journalism 100% English 92% Psychology 83% Sociology 83% Biology 83% Chemistry 83% Theater 83% Anthropology 75% Linguistics 75% Dance 50% Art 50% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

For the most part I agree, although I would be happy studying any of these topics except the last three.

On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06
This will never happen again

You may now return to your (normal?) life.

You fit in with: Humanism Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations. 20% spiritual. 80% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I took the test but I don't think I'm objective enough to decide if it is really me.

I scored big time today. I was able to get all three (3) Highwayman CD's! I also picked up Rosanne Cash's "Rules of Travel" CD which has the duet with her dad "September When it Comes."

Very cool stuff.

Just want to say Merry Christmas to all.

I'm heading off to Williamsburg, Virginia tomorrow morning (Dec. 23rd) to spend Christmas at Mom's. After all the trials and tribulations I've faced this fall I'm anxious to get there. I'll be surrounded by my Mom, Step-Dad, Brother, Sister, Step-Sisters(3), and who knows how many Nieces, Nephews and Cousins.

The planets and stars are coming into alignment and all will be right in my universe.

You're a slightly tarnished metal key, and you
unlock the wardrobe. At first glance, you seem
to present only simple, everyday things, but
anyone who looks deeper will find much more.
Just don't expect everyone to believe in you,
and those who don't may not grasp your worth.


What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday afternoon when I got home from the hospital my CD player quit after only four songs... Grrrr.....

Can't find anything obvious upon inspection of the guts of this damn machine.

No music for a day and a half... :(

At least my friend Fred has offered to drive me to Best Buy this morning. :)

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. After what was scheduled to be an out-patient procedure I’m home after thirteen days in the hospital. I’m beat up and sore, but oh so happy to be home with my cats and my stuff all around me. The pathology reports came back negative. At this point it appears that they got all the cancer. Yea!

Life changing event? You have no idea. I have heard and read all the cliches and trite sayings that come with being told you have cancer. I agreed with everyone, yeah that’s bad news man. But until the doctor looked me in the eye and said, “you have malignant melanoma,” I had no idea what it really means. When the doctor said those four words I was scared. I mean for the first time in my life really scared. Mortality was staring me in the face. We all ponder death in our thoughts and dreams as we go through life, but all of a sudden I new my end, no more speculation. And it terrified me. Thank God it was only a scare this time.

Then later that night as it started to sink in what truly started to scare me was how do I tell my family and friends. It took me two days before I told any one. The first person I told was my boss. I had too. I was starting to miss work because of the doctor appointments. I laid awake another night before I got the courage to tell my brother and my best friend Jim, who in many ways is as close to me as my brother. I knew what I had to say was going to hurt them, and I didn’t want too. I would have preferred to tell everyone in person, but all of my family live out-of-state. The dreadful silence after I said those words was like a knife in my heart. But Jim was another story. I had to tell him face to face, not on the phone. I will never forget the shock in his eyes.

Now four weeks later I’ve come to appreciate and love my family and friends even more than ever before. I realize what family and friends are really for. To help you through the hard times, not just the good times. The support and care I’ve received from everyone has been unbelievable. I couldn’t have made it through this without them. I’m not worthy, but incredibly lucky to have them all. I watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” while I was in the hospital and have to agree with the final scene of the movie. “No man is poor if he has friends,” and tonight I feel like a millionaire.

So, here's my first entry.

Can't seem to think of anything profound to say, so I'll just leave it at this.